Many thoughts come through my mind lately, not something u say new exactly. I start wondering and questioning. How come i can hurt person who loves me, who would give everyTHING he got just to win my heart, just to keep me his, just to get all me. When i said, i don't believe in my self, i doubt everything, push him aside for i'm being such a bitch. For running and he keeps on chasing me 'til he grab my hands, hold me and kiss me ?
Is this some kinda cold heart living inside me, some unhealed diseases messing around my brain ? or just another useless questions ?
Those stupid stupid words haunting me, perfect way to add another nightmare.
Later, in my confusion of sorry-i-can't-face-this-i-need-some-space just never be enuff reason for him abandoned my heart, last night he came surprised me with a knock on the door, showed his cute innocent face, hold a pretty chocolate cake and roses, and i just said 'thanks babe,' and gave him my tightest hug for seconds, makes me want to cry.
Oh, honey. I wish i could do better, be less selfish, be a good listener, a good friend and lover. Happy Year One.
xoxo
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